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Meet Calevan and a new book

Meet Calevan, my Blood Elf Mage in World of Warcraft. Calevan marks my seventh character that I have created in a game that, for the past two years, has kept me glued to my computer at night. Calevan, however, was not always a Blood Elf Mage. He started life out on a role-playing server 2 years ago as a Night Elf Druid. But my time there was short-lived, only because my attention span started to grow shorter and shorter, and I found myself unable to role-play. I got bored. So I left. Now he is reborn into a new form, which has prompted the creation of a book.

I started writing this book, a sequel to a story I wrote two years ago this summer. The new book, entitled “Dark Resurrection” will be finished sometime this summer. But the first book is about to be published. It’s called “Calevan and Thoninas.” I will be sure to post where you can buy it when it is done.

The story for the sequel book is really exciting and I have been typing away at very high speeds over the past week. I can’t wait for everyone to read it.


<3 you know who you are!

There is someone special out there, in the great northwest, who I care for very much. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a while and I just wanted to throw it all out here on my blog because it matters so much to me. You know who you are and you know how I feel about you. There are moments during the day when I am hard at work, busy troubleshooting some computer problem and I stop and think about you. I wonder how your day is going, if you had a good sleep and if I will have a chance to talk to you later on.

When I think about you, a lump forms in my throat, my stomach tightens up and I just feel like I need to be with you, as if part of me were missing.

I am sure you will ask why I am doing this, dumping all my feelings for you out for the world to see. It’s because of my pride in you, I want everyone to know how incredible a person you really are. I mourn for those who don’t know you because they are really missing out on the most incredible person I have ever known. Your laugh, your sensitive side, the side that slaps me silly when I misbehave. All these and much more are what make up the recipe that has me captured and held.

And where else could I find another person like you who also is allergic to celery? I mean, that’s got to be some kind of sign.

Well enough is enough, I just wanted to spill my guts so you and everyone would know that you are so special to me. While I do treasure you, I have made mistakes, including one which hurt you. It was a stupid mistake, one that should never have happened, and for that all I can do is say I am sorry and make sure I do everything I can to make it up to you. I am touched and moved that you spent those months looking to find me again, it tells me that somewhere in your heart there is a place reserved for me. My heart is dedicated exclusively to you. Without you I would wither away and die.

You already know all this, now everyone else does too. But before I end this entry I wanted to say those words which I feel are so important, that convey all of this blog entry into a simple, refined, statement of devotion…

I love you Rachelle.

Steroids are fun

So last Friday night I discovered I had developed a rash on my shoulders and upper back. I was like, WTF!?? I thought it might have been poison ivy, that is until Saturday morning when I noticed it had spread. So then I asked my Mom, “have I ever had chicken pox?”, she said she couldn’t remember. Thanks Mom! So I went to the doctor on Monday and he said it looked like it was an allergic reaction to something, most likely a piece of clothing. I put 2 and 2 together…and got FOUR! But seriously, I told him I had actually just purchased some new shirts and didn’t bother to wash them before wearing them…yeah yeah, I know, I am retarded.

Soooooo, the doc gives me this steroid shot to start the process of healing. This shot hurt like a mother fucker!!!! I felt the needle go in, didn’t bother me. But then when the nurse pumped in the fluid, wow…talk about burning agonizing pain. My arm STILL hurts.

He also gave me some pills to take, which are also steroids. Since then I have been waking up earlier than usual, I have been feeling like an overcharged battery and last night I stayed up until 2:30 AM playing World of Warcraft, which is rare for me. Then I wake up at friggin 7 am this morning and I am WIRED.

Fortunately I am on the ramp down phase, where I am taking less and less each day. So hopefully by this weekend I will be feeling more like my tired, relaxed, self. In the meantime, I am like…woot, let’s go go go!!

Steroids are fun…too bad they’ll kill you if you stay on them.

A tour of my top four bands

After yesterday’s post about my memories of the KISS concert I went to with my sister, I decided that today I would talk about the bands I love today. My musical tastes have changed a great deal over the past couple of decades. I dumped metal for classical and after my sister’s accident I started listening to today’s generation of metal, in this case hardcore and metalcore. So here’s four of my absolute favorite bands…not in any particular order, and I am tossing in mp3’s so you can hear a song too.

Killswitch Engage

I started listening to Killswitch Engage before my sister’s accident actually. My best friend, Keith, introduced them to me in 2004. I have been a huge fan ever since and have actually seen this metalcore band in action, at Ramshead Live in Baltimore. One of their songs really has a special meaning for me because it conveys words that I would probably say to an ex-girlfriend of mine, who still occupies a place in my heart. And she knows who she is. Killswitch Engage is from Boston and their lead singer is an incredibly talented vocalist, as you will hear in this song, End of Heartache.

Listen to End of Heartache


Terror is one of my more recent band interests. This band hails from L.A., and plays hardcore music. They have some really powerful lyrics along with some very powerful guitar work. I found Terror on my own about six months ago while browsing through bands on the iTunes Music Store. This song I picked out is one of my favorites and it conveys a lot of my own personality into it. The name of the song is Overcome, and it’s all about overcoming all obstacles. That no matter how much you “break me down, I’ll overcome.”

Listen to Overcome


This is another recent band of interest. This is very very new band out of Erie, Pennsylvania. They released their first album last year and have been out touring. They don’t even have a web site yet, however they are on myspace. Hopefully they will continue to play the awesome music they have produced on their first album, “True at all costs.” The song I chose is called “If only words could kill.” I suppose it’s a message to the mother fucker who put my sister into a coma.

Listen to If Only Words Could Kill

Call to Preserve

Okay, it doesn’t get any newer than this. I just discovered this band last week and already I am crazy about their music. These guys hail from Florida and have some incredibly awesome music. Their drummer is first rate and their riffs are just insane…and I can’t leave out the vocalist, his voice is just awesome. But one of the biggest reasons I have fallen in love with this band is because they are Christians and write lyrics which are positive and uplifting as well as containing faith based undertones. I don’t like listening to bands that talk about eating souls or serving the devil or anything like that. My therapist would kill me if I did. So sit back and listen to this song I have chosen. They released their very first album late last year and this song is one of my favorites, it’s called Now and Forever.

Listen to Now and Forever

I hope you enjoyed listening to some of the music I enjoy listening to, most especially during those long commutes to/from work. I know alot of people don’t like this style of music, but there’s also a ton of people who do.


Thinking of Kelly

The other day I was driving home after shopping for some stuff and while I sat at a traffic light a memory came to me out of the blue. I remembered the time my sister and I went to see KISS in concert. It was June 2002 and she came down from New York just for this concert. I remembered us driving to Nissan Post Pavilion, talking about the last time I had seen KISS in concert. Now before I go on, let me just tell you that KISS is no longer a band I listen to. I listened to them when I was much younger, just a kid, and the only reason I wanted to see them in concert was to relive some old memories. These days I listen to much harder music (hardcore), but whatever.

I remember Kelly and I meeting up with some of her friends there and we chit chatted for a moment and then moved on. I remembered standing in line with her to buy some beer and we just were talking about how cool it was to be there. Then the concert started and we got to our spots and enjoyed watching the band perform. We laughed about how the band hadn’t really changed much and excitedly told each other, “Oh my God, I love this song!” Then just before the concert ended, Kelly turns to me and yells, “Let’s get out of here as soon as they start playing I wanna rock and roll all nite.” I nodded.

Within minutes that song started and Kelly and I made a bee-line for the parking lot. I remembered turning to her as we were out in the lot, laughing, “I can’t hear anything!” And she laughed back, “I know!” We got into the car and drove home, humming and singing some of the songs we had heard that night.

The light turned green and I suddenly realized my sister isn’t there anymore, and I had to hold back the tears. I haven’t cried for my sister in a long time, I felt I was over that part of the process, but I guess God wanted to remind me that the walls I put up to keep myself focused on today can easily be broken down.

I miss my sister. I really miss her.

How many more lives…

I awoke this morning and pulled up as I always do in the morning. This morning, however, I came to learn that yet another drunk driver has taken the lives of innocent people. Here is an excerpt from the story:

“Film director Bob Clark, best known for the holiday classic “A Christmas Story,” was killed with his son Wednesday in a head-on crash with a vehicle that a drunken driver steered into the wrong lane, police and the filmmaker’s assistant said. The driver of the other vehicle, a 24 year old male, and his passenger were taken to UCLA Medical Center with minor injuries. The driver was arrested Wednesday afternoon and booked for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol and gross vehicular manslaughter.”

So, as usual, the drunk driver survives and changes the lives of an entire family and their friends. How many more lives must be lost before this country’s government makes the changes that are necessary to drunk-driving laws? How long must this slaughter of innocents go on before our eyes are opened and we realize how flawed our system is?

My sister’s life was changed because of someone’s incompetence. How many more families must suffer as my own family has suffered? Drunk drivers need to be put to death, that’s all there is to it. If you are so irresponsible as to get in a vehicle when you are drunk, you deserve to be punished severely! If you actually kill someone, you are a murderer and deserve nothing less than a death penalty. Maybe then people will begin to think twice about driving drunk.

For now I guess we will just have to continue to bear the injustice as these irresponsible people continue to change lives and, in most cases, take lives.

3:42 AM

It was probably one of the most annoying mornings I have had in a while. At 3:42 AM I was awakened out of sound sleep by a huge BAM!! Which was immediately followed by Tango scurrying from under the covers up to where I was. A huge thunderstorm ensued and poor little Tango didn’t like it one bit. She cuddled up close to me and put her head in the crook of my neck and just lay there quivering and crying.

Now I have to admit, it was a pretty wild thunderstorm, with some pretty big torrential downpours, a lot of lightning and even hail at one point. So all I could do was lay there and help Tango feel better. 20 minutes later the storm had moved on and everything was quiet again. Tango curled up and went of to sleep and I…well…I ended up not being able to fall asleep again. So I got up, wrote some emails and checked on a few things.

It wasn’t until about 6:30 that I finally went back to bed…waking up 2 hours later to get ready for work. Tired. So tired.

When I get home tonight, I am going to bed.