So I have been a part of an amazing church for the past two months and I have been studying the bible and learning to become a better disciple of Christ. But I am flawed in many ways, and I can fix these flaws but it’s going to take a lot of time, prayer and determination. A couple days ago I wrote a poem/prayer that really expresses the battle going on in me right now. To replace my arrogance with humbleness, to stop cussing, to show others mercy and love. It’s rough because for the majority of my life I have been like this. I am going to achieve my goal, no matter how long it takes or what I have to do.
SHED THIS BODY
by Kevin Harris – July 2015
I stand on a precipice,
looking down into the abyss,
my life has come this far,
but as I am, I can’t go on like this.
I must repent my sins,
discard all this anger, hate and sorrow,
I must shed myself of this body of death,
so for my soul there can be a tomorrow.
I see the graces God has given,
hints of how things should be done,
shadows and shades of humble life,
like light and dark, clouds and sun.
This old self I must reject,
and embrace this great rebirth,
with eagerness and panic to change,
before I pass away, leaving this earth.
How long, how long will it take for this,
God give me strength, I’m scared not to change,
so many habits woven into my being,
I want to be reborn, my life I need to rearrange.
Oh what a hopeless soul I am,
who will save me from this body of death,
my Lord and Savior can, if I just push myself,
it’s time to jump, it’s time to take one last breath.
Down into the abyss I shed this body,
never again to be damned and shamed,
into the light I spread my wings and fly,
I choose salvation, eternal life I have claimed.
Guide me forward my Father,
forgive me of the sins I’ve incurred,
let me into the light of your kingdom,
let me learn all I need through your word.
I will never be perfect, I will never be sinless,
but I will repent, to free you Lord of that Godly sorrow,
and free myself and never regret,
today is dead and gone, it’s time for tomorrow.
I must unlearn what I have learned,
and learn the way to being pure,
I kill my old self into the abyss,
my new self is my salvation’s cure.