by Kevin Harris
I who am buried in deep sighs and tears,
my face suffused with sorrow, now with menace,
grows pale with remorse for days now past.
Grim images, dreadful shades, memories of lost love,
the lifeless eyes of those in my family, now dead,
the earth turns, ignorant of this lonely soul planted upon it.
Never has the sun seen one so filled with despair as I,
never has this world seemed so dark and so desolate,
everything seems to mirror my strife and sorrow.
My spirit burns no longer with joy or inspiration,
now just filled with ashes of a shattered existence,
anger and spite cover me in a shroud of hate.
Never will I feel the exalted pleasures of a blissful love,
instead my tears grow, just as when it rains,
this stream of sorrow swells with rapid torrents.
Woe is me! With terror at what the future will bring,
my heart lies frozen within my chest,
suffering in this way is too great a torment.
How can I ever relate, how can I reveal,
these feelings, this sorrow, this wretched existence,
this scene of endless misery and torment?
Seeing those who have another to hold, to love,
brings forth a wellspring of hateful jealousy,
Oh my heart, it is for you I weep, never to know such bliss.
A cloud of mourning covers me, dark and black,
all the joys, all the pleasures of this life,
have now become filled with plaints and tears.
My tearful eyes and pale face, as if made of lifeless stone,
nothing but a sea of bitter tears pour forth from my eyes,
where once joy resided, now only torment reigns.
Who will save me? Who among you will love me?
Until then my heart in torment remains eternal,
weep at my complaint, you shades of Hell.
Alas, at its very dawn, the sun of my eyes has reached its setting,
I am the only one left, covered in tears and sorrow,
will no-one, among this lament, provide me with mercy?
Oh if only God would guide a faithful lover into my embrace,
then the clouds could part and the sun shine bright,
bringing the healing warmth of love to my frozen heart.
Then I would lament no more, no longer a need to deplore,
happy and content I would swim in a sea of joy and delight,
that has neither shore nor bottom.
How could so much grief be calmed in an instant,
who could so swiftly extinguish the flame of sorrow,
and bring a song of intense peace and joy upon me?
She who can count the stars in the sky, or the delights of paradise,
she who could exude within me rejoicing and smiles,
she who could behold me as her tender and faithful lover.
But always, whether her beautiful eyes were downcast or looked around,
they would gladden my heart with fierce joy and pleasure,
Earth and Heaven, among my joyful sighs, would witness a loving heart.
And through the serene air would be heard harmonious choirs,
winged cupids striking up such songs filled with sweetness,
my life would be complete, my lover and myself in heavenly harmony.
But those sweet thoughts turn sour as reality grips my mind,
I fall to my knees speaking fervent prayers and plaintive sighs,
could Heaven bless me with one whom I can love and call my own?
Until that prayer is answered in resounding glory,
the earth shall ever be dark and filled with unending torment,
Oh God! Dear Lord of Heaven, have mercy on me!