Last night I couldn’t sleep. In fact, I haven’t slept well in over two weeks. So last night I decided to put my feelings into a poem, and I decided to share it here…
by Kevin Harris
Among the darkness in shuddering torment I sit,
my face eroded from the endless torrent of tears,
the thorns of this lonely life into my heart has bit.
a quivering sigh of lament my heart does weep,
a questioning thought crosses the recesses of my mind,
this life a rising mountain, its path becoming far too steep.
if only there were another to walk the path at my side,
to bring the lofty burden down and comfort my sorrows,
but this life so cruel scoffs and with malice does deride.
I lay in my bed, no sleep comes, a pillow soaked in tears,
staring at the ceiling I wonder what will become of me,
as I think of regrets, failed aspirations, through-out my years.
No-one to love, no-one to touch with a sweet caress,
no-one to hold, no-one to care for in times good or bad,
so much love to give, it overflows among this duress.
But so full of love am I that a poison it has become,
eating away at a lonely heart, beating for no-one,
unless the love is given to the poison I shall succumb.
Oh the toil and misery I suffer so is nothing but a bog,
sucking me down deeper into the darkness of misery,
no light, no life, no love among melancholy’s blinding fog.
Hopelessness fills me with an unending chorus,
singing a song of sorrows and lamentations,
full of tears, shuddering in wailing, my voice hoarse.
That feared day of wrath and doom comes impending,
when from Heaven my Father and judge descends,
Earth splitting in two and in fiery ashes comes the ending.
Without another to walk with, my time falling and growing empty,
on that day of death with nature quaking and frail men shaking,
on the day of tears and mourning, my miserable life so petty.
But should there be a soul who can walk along with me,
then saved will I be from this moment of destruction,
I would shower her with love and treasure her with glee.
I would tell her everyday, every moment, of my admiration, my love,
my life would finally be filled with joy and overflowing with peace,
I would shout with such resounding as to be heard in Heaven above,
I give thanks to my Father in Heaven for this wondrous blessing,
there can be nothing more I could need nor could want in this world,
I would fall to my knees and with love and sincerity confessing,
With all that I am I shall rejoice and glorify you through my art,
I shall treasure her for every moment my lungs draw breath,
I shall worship her and love her always, until death do us part.
But these are just dreams, and my head now falls low,
the reality returns and my sorrow resumes unabated,
angry and raging, wishing for a thing never makes it so.
No wondrous blessing of a kind and gentle woman to love and call my own,
only torment and sorrow raining down upon me in unending torrents,
my spirit crushed, my soul wrapped in lament as my heart weeps with a moan.