by Kevin Harris
I who am buried in deep sighs and tears,
my face suffused with sorrow, now with menace,
grows pale with remorse for days now past.
Grim images, dreadful shades, memories of lost love,
the lifeless eyes of those in my family, now dead,
the earth turns, ignorant of this lonely soul planted upon it.
Never has the sun seen one so filled with despair as I,
never has this world seemed so dark and so desolate,
everything seems to mirror my strife and sorrow.
My spirit burns no longer with joy or inspiration,
now just filled with ashes of a shattered existence,
anger and spite cover me in a shroud of hate.
Never will I feel the exalted pleasures of a blissful love,
instead my tears grow, just as when it rains,
this stream of sorrow swells with rapid torrents.
Woe is me! With terror at what the future will bring,
my heart lies frozen within my chest,
suffering in this way is too great a torment.
How can I ever relate, how can I reveal,
these feelings, this sorrow, this wretched existence,
this scene of endless misery and torment?
Seeing those who have another to hold, to love,
brings forth a wellspring of hateful jealousy,
Oh my heart, it is for you I weep, never to know such bliss.
A cloud of mourning covers me, dark and black,
all the joys, all the pleasures of this life,
have now become filled with plaints and tears.
My tearful eyes and pale face, as if made of lifeless stone,
nothing but a sea of bitter tears pour forth from my eyes,
where once joy resided, now only torment reigns.
Who will save me? Who among you will love me?
Until then my heart in torment remains eternal,
weep at my complaint, you shades of Hell.
Alas, at its very dawn, the sun of my eyes has reached its setting,
I am the only one left, covered in tears and sorrow,
will no-one, among this lament, provide me with mercy?
Oh if only God would guide a faithful lover into my embrace,
then the clouds could part and the sun shine bright,
bringing the healing warmth of love to my frozen heart.
Then I would lament no more, no longer a need to deplore,
happy and content I would swim in a sea of joy and delight,
that has neither shore nor bottom.
How could so much grief be calmed in an instant,
who could so swiftly extinguish the flame of sorrow,
and bring a song of intense peace and joy upon me?
She who can count the stars in the sky, or the delights of paradise,
she who could exude within me rejoicing and smiles,
she who could behold me as her tender and faithful lover.
But always, whether her beautiful eyes were downcast or looked around,
they would gladden my heart with fierce joy and pleasure,
Earth and Heaven, among my joyful sighs, would witness a loving heart.
And through the serene air would be heard harmonious choirs,
winged cupids striking up such songs filled with sweetness,
my life would be complete, my lover and myself in heavenly harmony.
But those sweet thoughts turn sour as reality grips my mind,
I fall to my knees speaking fervent prayers and plaintive sighs,
could Heaven bless me with one whom I can love and call my own?
Until that prayer is answered in resounding glory,
the earth shall ever be dark and filled with unending torment,
Oh God! Dear Lord of Heaven, have mercy on me!
So one of the things that simply blows my mind is how many people love Vivaldi’s “Il Quattro Stagioni” (ie. The Four Seasons) and yet they are completely ignorant of his other awesome works (over 1,000 of them). So I decided I would help you come to love this amazing composer and the incredible music that he wrote in his sixty-three years on this earth. I have a massive collection of Vivaldi’s works and I have hand picked four pieces. If you really like what you hear and want to hear more, I urge you to seek out the Vivaldi Edition by naïve classique, which is available on iTunes and is a set of recordings I consider to be the best in quality and performance. I have also included at the bottom of this post my own playlist from Rdio if you want to further explore Vivaldi for free.
Now onto the music. Here are four YouTube videos of the pieces for you to hear and to come to understand there is more to Vivaldi than The Four Seasons. 🙂
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My Rdio Ultimate Vivaldi Playlist: http://rd.io/x/QVbGfTMiMac/
Long ago there was once a phenomena known as snow. It was white, cold and would fall from the sky during the winter time. Every year nature would be blanketed by many inches of this frosty concoction. Children would run outside with glee, diving into its soft embrace, making people out of snow and using sheets made of wood to careen uncontrollably down a hill over its surface. This snow was a refreshing change from the downpours and rolling thunder of summer. It made one appreciate nature’s beauty. But as time went on, the snow came in fewer and fewer amounts. It wasn’t long before winters changed from a pure white to dank and brown. No longer were the hillsides covered in a blanket of white, filled with the laughter of children, rather the hills became covered in mud with the cold rain pouring down upon them. No longer did the children run outside with glee to play in the snow, instead they sat indoors and pouted. No longer were there snow people, eyes made of coal and noses from carrots, no longer would there be angels in the snow. For winter had become nothing more than an extended autumn, bringing no joy to anyone except those who detested the snow. Those people, mostly adults, revelled in the fact that the snow had gone. They had lost their inner child and couldn’t appreciate the blessing of snow.
It is now mid-February as I sit and tell you this tale and very little snow has fallen. It has been four long years since we have seen snow piled up high around us. If it weren’t for the few inches that have fallen this season, there could be no choice but to delegate snow to the dark, cobwebbed, halls of myths and superstition.
Only time will tell if we will be blessed with snow again. As the generations pass, how long until the children no longer know the joy of sledding down a hill or making snowmen? Life would surely be lessened greatly should that ever befall us. Therefore I close this tale with an ode to that which I hold so dear:
An Ode to Winter
I dream of the bitter cold, icy, air,
the winter wind blowing through my hair,
the crunch of ice and snow beneath my feet,
the gentle fall of snow and the sizzle of sleet.
I cannot stand summer’s warm embrace,
I despise the feeling of sweat dripping down my face,
to walk outside and have my breath taken away,
the insects, the heat, it sickens me with each passing day.
I dream of my breath turning to ice,
because I find winter to be so nice,
to sleep with open windows in winter’s embrace,
to feel the gentle caress of snow on my face.
I hate summer, back to hell I’ll deliver,
I yearn for the chill that makes me shiver,
summer is utterly disgusting and vile,
it makes me so ill, I’ll stay in all the while.
I dream of my face pink with the cold,
I love winter so much, it never gets old,
the crisp cold mornings with blue skies above,
I tell you most sincerely it is winter that I love.
So begone hated summer, go and never return,
it is the cold biting winter for that I so yearn,
get rid of the heat, and the beaches can go,
bring me cold, bring me the sweet white snow.
Now that you know where my true love lies,
that it is the hot disgusting summer I despise,
never tell me it’s a beautiful summer day,
I love only winter, so please, please go away!
November, December, January too,
February, oh winter I do love you,
30 degrees, 20, 10 and zero,
my sweet winter you’re my hero!
I don’t know how many times I used to tell my sister to quit smoking. She would just nod her head and tell me she has tried and just can’t seem to quit. The thing is you can’t do something if the word can’t is in your mind. If you think negatively about something and feel as if it’s impossible, then you will never be able to accomplish your goal. I defeated Type 2 Diabetes because I told myself that I had to do it, there was no getting around it. Because I knew if I didn’t I would face more serious health problems down the road. My parents always told me “You can do whatever you set your mind to do!”
So I say to those of you who smoke, please stop! There are so many studies that show that smoking does affect you. You may never get cancer, but it does impact your body either way. It has been shown to age people by leaps and bounds, you are ingesting massive quantities of toxins and poisons, so you are impacting your body in ways that may not have an outward appearance.
While not everyone who smokes gets cancer, the risks are elevated by MASSIVE percentages compared to non-smokers. Watch the video below and consider the consequences. There are alternatives and I don’t mean little patches you stick on your arm or gum you chew. It’s called vaping and I have several friends who swear by it. You can get your nicotine hit while at the same time enjoying some really tasty flavors. And because it’s vapor (ie. water droplets) and not tobacco smoke, it’s awesomely healthy to your body…because it’s just…WATER! Water is something that your body has in abundance. So it’s a good thing.
I would like to point you my friend Jon’s blog about vaping. He loves it! He was a smoker for quite some time and made the switch in the past year or so. His blog explains a lot about it, so check the link below the video and visit his blog to find out all about it.
VAPIFIER (Jon’s Blog) : http://vapifier.blogspot.com/
Last night I couldn’t sleep. In fact, I haven’t slept well in over two weeks. So last night I decided to put my feelings into a poem, and I decided to share it here…
by Kevin Harris
Among the darkness in shuddering torment I sit,
my face eroded from the endless torrent of tears,
the thorns of this lonely life into my heart has bit.
a quivering sigh of lament my heart does weep,
a questioning thought crosses the recesses of my mind,
this life a rising mountain, its path becoming far too steep.
if only there were another to walk the path at my side,
to bring the lofty burden down and comfort my sorrows,
but this life so cruel scoffs and with malice does deride.
I lay in my bed, no sleep comes, a pillow soaked in tears,
staring at the ceiling I wonder what will become of me,
as I think of regrets, failed aspirations, through-out my years.
No-one to love, no-one to touch with a sweet caress,
no-one to hold, no-one to care for in times good or bad,
so much love to give, it overflows among this duress.
But so full of love am I that a poison it has become,
eating away at a lonely heart, beating for no-one,
unless the love is given to the poison I shall succumb.
Oh the toil and misery I suffer so is nothing but a bog,
sucking me down deeper into the darkness of misery,
no light, no life, no love among melancholy’s blinding fog.
Hopelessness fills me with an unending chorus,
singing a song of sorrows and lamentations,
full of tears, shuddering in wailing, my voice hoarse.
That feared day of wrath and doom comes impending,
when from Heaven my Father and judge descends,
Earth splitting in two and in fiery ashes comes the ending.
Without another to walk with, my time falling and growing empty,
on that day of death with nature quaking and frail men shaking,
on the day of tears and mourning, my miserable life so petty.
But should there be a soul who can walk along with me,
then saved will I be from this moment of destruction,
I would shower her with love and treasure her with glee.
I would tell her everyday, every moment, of my admiration, my love,
my life would finally be filled with joy and overflowing with peace,
I would shout with such resounding as to be heard in Heaven above,
I give thanks to my Father in Heaven for this wondrous blessing,
there can be nothing more I could need nor could want in this world,
I would fall to my knees and with love and sincerity confessing,
With all that I am I shall rejoice and glorify you through my art,
I shall treasure her for every moment my lungs draw breath,
I shall worship her and love her always, until death do us part.
But these are just dreams, and my head now falls low,
the reality returns and my sorrow resumes unabated,
angry and raging, wishing for a thing never makes it so.
No wondrous blessing of a kind and gentle woman to love and call my own,
only torment and sorrow raining down upon me in unending torrents,
my spirit crushed, my soul wrapped in lament as my heart weeps with a moan.