…is life truly worth living? Is it really worth going through all the bullshit, hardship, trauma and pain? I mean, come on…you’re going to die someday, why the fuck must life be such a bitch? Well, to be honest, life IS worth living even though there are things which are troubling and things that bring you down. I have come across so many people in the past year who just seem like life is not worth the trouble.

Life is like a bucket of water. And every once in a while the bucket gets bumped. What is inside the bucket is your faith in God. How much will you spill? How much could you gain? God gives us all challenges, adversity, in our lives. He does this to help strengthen our faith. If you spill some water out when God bumps your bucket of life, do you just give in and tip over? Do you give up and let your faith vanish? The correct answer is no, you must keep your faith in Him alive.

I have been through a fucking crapload of shit over the past 2 years. My only sibling, my sister, got hit by some irresponsible little fuck driving a car while completely drunk off his ass, causing serious brain trauma to her. He is enjoying his life. My sister lays in a hospital bed unresponsive. I lost the one person I thought I’d spent the rest of my life with because of my own stupidity, my own mistakes. That loss was almost as great as losing my sister. Then my father’s cancer comes back and I watch the man I have called my father fall apart into a helpless shell of who he once was. He is doing better these days thank God. And now I am dealing with my own health issues. I am also dealing with the fact that I may be spending my life alone, I cannot seem to find that special someone out there, I have grown tired of trying. But that may just be the will of God, I don’t know.

Kelly’s accident took its toll horribly on me and my family. But through it all, my faith in God has been what has kept me going, what has kept me sane.

Kelly, I hope to see you smile one day, to hear that beautiful voice again. God knows how much we all want that. Kristen, I will always love you – my heart still beats for you, regardless of all that happened…of which I take the blame for. And to my Father in Heaven, all I can say is thank you for giving me the challenges in life that makes it all worth living.

If you think life isn’t worth living, please talk to someone who can help. I hate to see people taking their lives or going through life feeling that way. There’s just so much to life, so much to enjoy and to see. Life is special, precious, my sister’s life has been forever changed. That alone has shown me just how priceless life is.


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